Insomnia. Brain fog. Random joint pain. Once I finally realized all these issues were actually perimenopause, I did what most of us end up doing at some point.

I Googled it.

Let’s just say that was less than helpful. Generic tips sandwiched between WebMD promises of a horrible demise was not what I needed at any time, but especially at 3 am when insomnia was kicking my arse.

After a lot of trial and error, I came up with the following eight things that helped me get through the worst of it. Did I suddenly turn into Suzie Homemaker with unlimited time and energy? Not even a little. Self-care is about easy, practical strategies to give you some breathing space, not add more to your plate.

I hope you find these more helpful than Google's generic AI summaries and WebMD's bad omens.

Track Your Symptoms

• Keep it Simple: doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated. Just a simple journal of symptoms, triggers, and what helped (or didn’t) in managing the effects it had on day-to-day life.
• Track Patterns: once you’ve been tracking symptoms for a while, you’ll learn your unique patterns.
• Bring it to appointments: knowing your symptoms, triggers, and patterns will help you make the most of your time with medical professionals and gives you a place to write notes during appointments.

I know, I know, no one has time for that but consider that knowing if the sleepless nights are because you have become more sensitive to your morning coffee or if your trusty sriracha bottle is triggering hot flashes will come in handy when your doctor asks you about the correlation between them.

Pro tip: even if you don’t cut out that second (or third) cup of coffee or someone would have to pry the sriracha bottle from your cold dead hands, knowing that these are triggers will better help you plan for their effects ahead of time.

Create a Cool Down Kit

• The essentials: handheld fan, cooling towel, cold water bottle, and peppermint spray.
• Dress in layers: breathable layers you can easily remove even if you’re in the middle of a meeting.
• Master the 4-7-8 breathing technique: inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This helps regulate your nervous system and can help reduce the intensity of hot flashes

Your future self will thank you when hot flashes strike unexpectedly. It's an emergency kit for when severe and/or prolonged hot flashes strike at the most inconvenient time (because of course they did). Stash these kits everywhere (car, office, purse, etc.) because you never know when or how severe a hot flash will be.

Pro tip: put one on your nightstand. Having one next to your bed when night sweats wake you up at 3am (again) can help you get back to sleep faster.

 Move with Joy

• Forget “no pain, no gain”: that's always been crap advice. Gentle yoga, walking, or just dancing in the kitchen while making dinner all count.
• Ease Into It: just 10 minutes of gentle movement per day can boost mood and support bone health.
• Lift something: doesn’t have to be heavy weights. Light weights and resistance bands are perfect for beginners and don’t take up a lot of space.

If you can’t remember the last time you were in a gym, maybe don’t start with five days a week training with a personal trainer. That’s too much, too fast, and it puts you at risk for injury. And we all know that we don’t heal like we used to anymore. The goal here is to be active every day to improve balance, flexibility, and posture (you just sat up straight didn’t you) before focusing on things like muscle mass and bone health. Remember, this isn’t going to happen overnight, slow and steady wins the longevity race.

Pro Tip: if a personal trainer is something you’re interested in, make sure they have experience designing programs for menopausal bodies.

Schedule Regular Connection Time

• Start small: one coffee date per week with your BFF, sibling, or even your parents.
• Join a community: book clubs, walking groups, or even an online hobby group can provide a mental breather from the stress of menopause
• Value quality over quantity: put the phones away and have a real conversation, even if it’s only 30 minutes per day.

Whether it's coffee with friends, family calls, or joining a support group, nurturing relationships provides emotional support and reminds you that you're not alone in this journey. Oftentimes, especially in perimenopause, our instincts are to hide away out of shame, or we don’t want to be a burden. Fight that urge, your brain is lying to you.

Pro tip: if you can’t find an established group to join, consider creating one yourself.

Prioritize Restorative Sleep

• Create your sleep sanctuary: breathable sheets, layered blankets, an extra set of pajamas, and your cool down kit belong here. Phones, snacks, and the TV do not.
• Develop a wind-down ritual: develop an evening ritual that signals to your body it's time to rest. Whether it's sipping herbal tea, gentle stretching, or progressive muscle relaxation, consistency is key.
• Screens off: turn off screens 1 hour before bedtime and start your wind-down ritual.

Experts have been telling us for years that screens before bedtime mess with our sleep-wake cycles. Getting good quality sleep is harder once the menopause transition starts and things like screen time and increased caffeine sensitivity could easily be robbing us of the one thing we need most.

This is probably the hardest self-care practice on the list and y’all, I still struggle with it, so it’s a do as I say and not as I do kind of tip 😉#BecauseISaidSo

Pro tip: I promise Netflix will be there tomorrow. So will social media. It’s ok to unplug.

Create a Stress-Busting Toolkit

• Claim your space: it doesn’t matter where it is, what matters is it’s YOUR quiet space and when you’re there, it’s your time and everyone else needs to just wait.
• Schedule daily joy: write down three things you're grateful for, work on that craft project, read a couple chapters in the next book on your TBR (to-be-read for the non-book dragons) pile. Whatever it is, do something that brings you joy and peace.
• Be prepared: stress is unavoidable, make sure you have a plan for when it hits hard.

Anxiety without a base cause is common in the menopause transition when progesterone levels are rapidly declining. Developing go-to strategies for overwhelming moments, be they real or hormone induced, can help calm your nervous system faster and help you think clearer. These don’t have to be complicated. Maybe it’s going outside and taking a few deep breaths (and literally touching grass) or just going to your quiet spot for a few minutes.

Pro tip: time outs aren’t just for toddlers; adults can benefit from taking 5-10 minutes of quiet time every day to reset their mood, attitude, and perspective. And having a quiet space you can go when the emotional roller coaster of menopause is just all too much can save you and your family a lot of hurt feelings and guilt.

 Practice Mindful Eating

• No distractions: put the phone away, step away from your computer at lunch, eat dinner at the table, not on the couch watching TV.
• Water, water, water: proper hydration supports everything from energy levels to skin health.
• Follow the 80/20 rule: eat a well-balanced diet 80% of the time and save the treats for only 20% of the time.

Nourishing your body with intention supports your overall health span and should include quality protein sources, lots of fruits and vegetables (frozen is fine!), and of course, plenty of water. You don’t have to be perfect 100% of the time. I certainly ain’t and meals don’t have to be fancy or take hours to make. The key here is to truly taste and enjoy your food.

Pro tip: join the Fork That Kitchen Club to get yummy recipes designed for busy adults, daily challenges, and cooking demonstrations to show you how easy eating mindfully can be.

 Be Kind to Yourself

• Mind that internal voice: talk to yourself like you would a friend. No name calling. No harsh criticism. Give yourself the same grace and love you give to others.
• Celebrate wins: celebrating when you achieve a goal, even if that goal is to not snap at the annoying co-worker in accounting, is not selfish.
• Happy is better than perfect: some days all the chores will be done and you’ll have a three course meal on the table by 6pm. Other days, you are eating cereal over the kitchen sink. If you’re happy in that moment, that’s all that matters.

Menopause is hard enough with all the physical changes so when it puts you on a mental and emotional roller coaster without consent, give yourself grace for not having all your ducks in a row at all times. The reality is, even without menopause mucking things up, most of us rarely do. Remember, menopause is a natural stage of life, and you deserve compassion and care.

Pro tip: small wins are still wins.

Final Thoughts

Every menopause experience is unique. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Some days you’ll nail every one of these tips, other days you’ll forget they even existed. Start with one and once that becomes your go-to response, then add another one. If one of these tips doesn’t work for you, then don’t try to force it simply because you read it here. Well, except for the prioritizing sleep part. #BecauseISaidSo

At the end of the day, remember:

• Progress over perfection
• 1% is better than 0%
• You can always try something different next time